viernes, 11 de enero de 2008

Marujerías

Humor: Las expresiones de los empleados españoles para los jefes extranjeros.

Una multinacional británica está molesta por el lenguaje que utilizan algunos de sus empleados españoles, abundante en "tacos", durante sus conversaciones. Los directivos de la corporación han decidido imponer un lenguaje más correcto. Así, el responsable del Area de Comunicación Interna, Mr. Adamson, ha enviado a la plantilla de la sucursal española una carta, con un dacálogo de buen lenguaje para los españoles. La carta circula por Internet y no sabemos si el caso es real. Pero hemos decidido recogerla aquí, para solaz de nuestros visitantes. Aconsejamos leerla en voz alta:

FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage
It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our> headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language. Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself. Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the following rules:

1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as 'ese> guiri de mierda'.
2. Words like 'coño', 'hostia', and other such expressions will not be> usedfor emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.
3. You will not say 'la ha cagao' when someone makes a mistake, or 'la> Esta cagando' if you see somebody being reprimanded, or '¡que cagada!' when> > major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb> 'cagar' are inappropriate in our environment.
4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration> Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as 'el hijo de la gran puta', or 'el muy cabron' or even 'el comemierda'.
5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to 'falta de huevos' or 'mariconería' nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever referred to 'capullo' or 'acojonado'
6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as 'pajas> mentales' in particular when they stem from your manager.
7. You will not say 'como me jode' if a person is persistent, or 'esta> jodido' or 'se lo van a follar' if a colleague is going through a> difficult situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words 'que jodienda' should not be used.
8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say 'vete a tomar por culo', nor should you ever substitute the most educated 'may I help you?' with '¿que coño quieres ahora?'
9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going through a difficult time should be used rather than 'esto esta jodido' or 'nos van a follar a todos'. Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and do not say 'que putada' or any expressions composed with the root 'puta'.
10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as 'subida de mierda'.
11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say 'me> voy a limpiar el culo con ella' or 'me la paso por el forro de los> cojones'.
Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.

Lo que no sabemos es si la plantilla española se ha tomado en serio el decálogo.

1 comentarios:

Emilia Gonzalez dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.