Marujerías

Por lo visto, en el extranjero -especialmente en UK- creen que los
> españoles tenemos un lenguaje, digamos rudo.
> Una multinacional británica no está satisfecha con el lenguaje que
> utilizan algunos de sus empleados aquí in Spain. Se han enterado de la
> frecuencia de los tacos en las conversaciones de la empresa y esto les ha llevado a
> emprender una cruzada de limpieza lingüística. Para ello, Mr. Adamson,
> que es el responsable del Área de Comunicación Interna, ha enviado 'a
> la plantilla española' un decálogo en contra del uso del lenguaje impropio.
>
> Dice así:
>
> FROM: Group Offices London
> TO: All Spanish Staff
> SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage

> It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
> headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language.
> Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly
> unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.
>Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to
> the following rules:
>
> 1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as 'ese
> guiri de mierda'.
>
> 2. Words like 'coño', 'hostia', and other such expressions will not be
> usedfor emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.
>
> 3. You will not say 'la ha cagao' when someone makes a mistake, or 'la
> Esta cagando' if you see somebody being reprimanded, or '¡que cagada!' when
> major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb
> 'cagar' are inappropriate in our environment.
>
> 4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration
> Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as 'el hijo de la
> gran puta', or 'el muy cabron' or even 'el comemierda'.
>
> 5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to 'falta de huevos'
> or 'mariconería' nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever
> referred to 'capullo' or 'acojonado'
>
> 6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as 'pajas
> mentales' in particular when they stem from your manager.
>
> 7. You will not say 'como me jode' if a person is persistent, or 'esta
> jodido' or 'se lo van a follar' if a colleague is going through a
> difficult situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words
> 'que jodienda' should not be used.
>
> 8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say 'vete a
> tomar por culo', nor should you ever substitute the most educated 'may
> I help you?' with '¿que coño quieres ahora?'
>
> 9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going
> through a difficult time should be used rather than 'esto esta jodido'
> or 'nos van a follar a todos'. Additionally, if you make a mistake,
> just say so and do not say 'que putada' or any expressions composed
> with the root 'puta'.
>
> 10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as 'subida de mierda'.
>
> 11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say 'me
> voy a limpiar el culo con ella' or 'me la paso por el forro de los
> cojones'.
>
> Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.